I’m living in a small city in Saskatchewan now and I have to say that it is just really not fun anymore. I can’t even begin to explain how boring it really is. I have no friends, I sit at home alone (when I am not at school or work) either reading or watching TV, sometimes I surf the net (which I only have cause I got a roommate), and really it’s all getting to me these days.
I have a boyfriend. We have been dating for about 3 months now, and he’s really just amazing! So good to me and so sweet. He is leaving on Saturday to Alberta for work and I honestly don’t know what I am going to do without him here. He is my only source of entertainment some nights. He will be gone for months at a time and when he comes home I will only see him for a few days and I know it’s going to kill me a little bit every time he comes home and leaves again. If he saw this he would probably say I am too intense but my emotions are strong, and I feel the need to express them somewhere!
I feel so out-of-place at cooking school, it’s not at all what I had thought it would be, and I still feel like I haven’t found my place in the world. I wish I had something; I mean I wish I had something I was amazing at, that I could do forever and would always make me happy. At this point I don’t have anything like that. I think everyone is born to do something, and I’m worried I will never find my something (I am rambling) but I just hope that’s understood is all.
My dog died a few days ago. Most tragic even of 2010 for me. He was old and sick; it was really his time to go.
Thoughts are in cyber space now. No taking them back. At least they aren’t just floating around in my head anymore.